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The last time I saw him

It has taken me some time to get to the point that I can write about this.  The day I dropped him off at the drill center I walked around pretty much numb.  I didn’t have much passion for whatever I kept myself busy with that day.  I just wanted the day to end so I could start over.

The Last Time I Saw Him

The Last Time I Saw Him

I spent several hours crying.  I mean gut wrenching crying.  The kind of tears that come from your gut and you don’t think you are ever going to stop.  But they do and then your eyes look all puffy for a while afterward.

Even did some bargaining with God.  I guess it is part of the acceptance process. Talked to a few people. Some actually have been through the same thing and one person told me it is a feeling like being proud and sad at the same time.  It is bitter-sweet.

Second day I kept busy trying to be normal.  Going though my daily routine trying to get lost in it.  Putting more passion in each task.  It was better.  Part of knowing he is still in the states and probably still dealing with paper work more than anything helps.

Not being about to hug him when I want to or call him is something I have been getting used to especially as he gets older but I’m not sure I want to get use to him being this far away.

So from here on out some days will be better than others.  Really not looking forward to those special ones like Christmas, his birthday etc… however, now I have somewhere to come to write about it so it should be easier.

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